Sry I called you an 8
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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