Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
