i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
