why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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