I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
