did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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