You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
