No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize