The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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