are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
