Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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