I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you win again, gameday.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
