Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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