Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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