Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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