angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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