I just gift wrapped bread.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
