Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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