Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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