She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
