well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
