Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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