i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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