I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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