I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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