Sponge bath it is.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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