First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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