Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
