Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You're a waste of cheezeits
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
