Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
