Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Randomize