Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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