she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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