Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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