just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
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100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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