How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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