I'm jealous of your bromance
two words: eviction party
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize