Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
