No awkward lesbian experiences without me
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
