Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
