oh god the rape fog is back!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
