My room smells like vodka and shame
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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