white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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