Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
