so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
