Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
