i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
