she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
no you cant smoke seaweed
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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