Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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