I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
