I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
