I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
