My nipple is on Facebook.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
