Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
