My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
