So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
