I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
