So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize