i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
id be glad to
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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