My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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